From 240S

Okay, for the blog patrol, here is another post—only 17 days after our last one. Apparently some of you wake up in the morning, wipe the sleepy from your eyes, pour a hot cup of joe, sit down in front of your computer, check your email and PRAY that there is an update in your inbox from the exhilarating Graves family blog. And, with great anticipation, you open your inbox, only to see that it is filled with nothing more than: “How to lose weight AND eat what you want” or “Get out of debt for only $49.99 a month” junk mail followed by a random chain letter that requires you to forward to 10 people in order to solidify your place in heaven or risk losing your salvation. It’s at that moment that your heart rate begins to slow down and you begin to face the reality that you are once again going to have to go through the day without an update from the gravesreport. Your day begins with an ominous shadow hanging over your head; and you fight through the day as best you can so that you can get home, go right to bed and wake up the next morning with those little butterflies in your stomach. Now…SHUT UP.

WEEKEND GETAWAY
This post is coming to you from 240S, a 10x10 room in the corner of the pediatric wing in the South Tower of Christus St. Michael Health System. A hospital room. Drew woke up Friday morning about 2:00 crying of a stomach ache. Equipped with a 101 temperature and full doses of Zyrtec, Ibuprofen and an Ambien, Corey got up and tried to console him. He calmed down a little (enough for her to go back to bed). 30 minutes went by and I was startled by a swift kick in the middle of my back with my lovely and wonderful wife growling at me to get up and see if I can do something for Drew.

I go in to where he is sleeping and find him doubled over in pain and taking short choppy breaths. I inquire about what is wrong (because being doubled over and taking short choppy breaths isn’t enough evidence for a man, especially when he is half asleep) and he tells me his stomach hurts. He never complains about anything outside of his sisters aggravating him. Luckily I can think fast on my feet, even in a sleepy daze. So I rush to the kitchen, grab a cup out the cabinet and fix him a drink of water. DAD TO THE RESCUE!!

That just pissed him off more. So after about 15 minutes of unsuccessful consoling, a 2:45 WedMD search of chronic stomach pains, and another 5 minutes of deliberation, Corey and I brilliantly diagnosed Drew with Appendicitis. 8 years of college for a medical license, what a scam! Seeing how Drew had appendicitis, we thought it would be a good idea to take him to the emergency room. Contrary to most ER horror stories, we got right in. (The ER nurses must know who we are, either that or they sit around the computer and read our blog) Well after a blood test and some x-rays, the doctor came in and UN-confirmed what Corey and I knew. That Drew has pneumonia. Guess those 8 years have some merit. They admitted him and have pumped him full of antibiotics and steroids. That’s usually a good thing, except the first antibiotic they gave him was Rocefin. Seems harmless enough. One problem, he’s allergic to it. He broke out in hives and escalated an already volatile situation. They gave him some Benadryl and it finally kicked in an hour later and he fell asleep for about 4 hours. HALELUJAH! (I’ve got a great slogan for a Benadryl commercial: “Benadryl, keeping parents sane and children asleep for 45 years now”)

He is doing better today (Saturday) and the doctor is supposed to be here about 7 in the morning (Sunday morning…I won’t hold my breath). Whether his tests show it or not, he is back to his normal self and ready to go home. I was able to talk Corey into going home and letting me stay tonight so I thought it was the perfect time to get the blog police off my case. Plus, we are watching the same VHS copy of Dora the Explorer for the 37th time since we’ve been here. This may be a longer post than anticipated.


EARNING HER KEEP
Corey started her new job this past week. She is working for the orthodontist that she interviewed with. If you read about it on our other blog, you know what I am talking about. (If you haven’t, refer to the last paragraph of our last post). Everything is going really well. She is the new person so she is trying to figure out which way is right and which way is left. Of course, in dental terms it’s all backwards because they are looking in your mouth and have to speak in opposites from what their perspective is. So you can imagine how confusing it can all become. Anyway, on top of learning new responsibilities and office policies, she has the undesirable task of trying to fit in with an office full of women. And for good measure, my aunt is the office manager and rules with an iron fist, so they all almost certainly have a preconceived notion about Corey. Most of them probably don’t like her just for being Vickie’s niece. The other ones probably don’t like her because she is undoubtedly much hotter than anyone else in the office; and you know how silly women can be about stuff like that. Good luck with that baby.

Since Corey has a new job, the kids have to have somewhere to go. We thought about letting them stay home by themselves but we figured CPS and most judges would not think it was as good an idea; regardless of how much money we could save. So off to preschool they go. Sonlight Learning Center. I know what you’re thinking…6 years of college and an English degree from the University of Arkansas will land you right in the middle of misspellville. Because “sunlight” is spelled with a U and not an O. (Plus this idiot is probably writing this post on Word to take advantage of spell check and the thesaurus before he copies and pastes it for the entire world to read) Well, as a matter of fact, it’s a catchy little name that references the Son of God and they have a Christian curriculum incorporated into their daily lessons. Now how stupid do you feel? The only problem is that it is in an area of town where the road has yet to be upgraded in order to accommodate the traffic; thus promoting road rage and causing one to participate in actions and language that completely go against the fundamental truths of the foundation of the school. They need to relocate, or widen the road.


IN SEARCH OF…
We have visited a few more churches since our last post. We talked to a few people and researched a couple of these places. Each Sunday morning we would wake up with a childlike optimism that this was going to be the one. Blue Hair First Baptist Church didn’t exactly have what we were looking for. The other was a bible church that had Casey Kasem preaching…uh “hosting” the sermon. We left the church and turned on our local top 40 station to try and find the real Kasem just to make sure. So back to the drawing board.

We have started a new feature on this blog called, FLASHBACK. We will insert random memories throughout our blog that may not necessarily have anything to do with anything that has been posted. But we are going to post them anyway because we haven’t written them down anywhere; and what better place than the gravesreport?

FLASHBACK
I was running some errands and Drew and Baylie were in the back of the 2004 Toyota Sienna Mini Van, in other words, the ladies magnet. Baylie was 6 and Drew was 3. Baylie turned to Drew and the ensuing conversation took place:

Baylie: Drew do you know what is in your heart?
Drew: Yeah.
Baylie: What?
Drew: Butterflies and Bumblebees.
Baylie: (serious) NO Drew! Do you know what is in your heart?
Drew: YES!
Baylie: Just say no. Do you know what is in your heart?
Drew: Uhhh, no.
Baylie: Jesus is in your heart, Drew.
Drew: Okay.
Baylie: Is Jesus in your heart, Drew?
Drew: Yes.
Baylie: (getting aggravated) Drew!! Just say no. Is Jesus in your heart?
Drew: Uhhh, no.
Baylie: Do you know what happens if Jesus is not in your heart?
Drew: Yes.
Baylie: (aggravation increasing) DREW!!! Say no. Do you know what happens if Jesus is not in your heart?
Drew: (beginning to lose interest in the conversation) No.
Baylie: You go to hell. Do you want to go to hell, Drew?
Drew: No.
Baylie: Do you know why not?
Drew: Because my friend Caleb isn’t there. (Caleb was/is a friend of Drew’s who is perfectly healthy and probably glad he doesn’t have a 6 year old sister to condemn him to hell)
Baylie: No, Drew, you don’t want to go to hell because Jesus isn’t there and you will burn in the fire.
Drew: Hey Baylie, look at this dinosaur I found.

*This conversation brought to you in part by the children’s ministry at Grace Bible Church in Nacogdoches. Andy Howell is the director and any discrepancies or complaints should be made directly to Andy.